John,

Congratulations, however, you should really be in bed at 11pm on a school night… oh, wait…

John,

Most of your young brothers and sisters who are so unlucky as to find themselves in government-run prison camps for youth (public schools) are slaves to a weekly scheduling system that consists of “school nights” (M-Thurs and Sun night) where they must be in bed early to wake up early for school the next morning, and “fun nights” (F and Sat night) where they stay up late and actually enjoy themselves for a change.

Now, it’s great that you have a free schedule and aren’t a slave to the schoolbell, but doing whatever you want every night has got to be wreaking havoc on your Circadian Rhythyms… you should ask Papa C-Nut to help you build a small farm in the backyard and buy you a rooster… you can wake up to his cockadoodledooing in the morning and get your schooling in between farm chores. By the time the sun goes down, you’ll be totally exhausted and ready for bed. This is the way people used to live before electricity. Aside from most people dying in their 50s from overwork and fatigue, people were pretty healthy and weren’t getting cancer or having massive anxiety attacks or suffering from chronic depression.