I am writing a book. It is like Diary of a Wimpy Kid and Tom Gates, but it’s for older readers. Here is an excerpt:
I am John Brown. I have a normal name and I look normal. I have a normal family, which has two parents and three kids. I have a baby brother who is treated like a prince, and an older sister who is a total punk.The baby is called Hashtag. Yes, this is his actual name. My parents had just went to a cell phone shop before they had Hashtag. The only not normal thing about the Brown family is Hashtag. The older sister is called Crystal Ellen Charlie Van Chang Brown. But I’ll call her Crystal for short. I go to Board Middle School. Crystal goes to Tyred High School. Hashtag goes to Weerd Daycare. When Hashtag comes home from Weerd Daycare, he watches TV. I find that dumb since all Hashtag does at daycare is watch TV. Before Hashtag goes to daycare, he watches more TV. I think Hashtag is a hypnotist because he managed to get my parents to let him stay home at church and watch more TV.
Crystal is at her friend’s house half the day. She actually skips some classes and she parties at her friend’s house. Crystal has the worst attendance record at school. Crystal’s friend is the DEVIL. I can believe it when I hear that she has dark magical powers. I dare not say her name. I call her She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
It is going to be published sometime in December for Kindle. It should be around 200 pages.
This does not sound like a normal family to me